ALL THINGS BEAUTY, FASHION AND LIFESTYLE

Pages

10 June 2014

I am so done with it.

I believe that this post is not going to be easy for me to actually chill myself and type those shits, but I just have to because twitter words limits are annoying, secondly 140 words are too short for me to type my feelings out. Although it's the past (few days ago lol) I just have to. I understand it's difficult to get through me especially for my readers, the only way out is email. I hope you all understand that I can't reply them all and I don't want to repeat myself over and over again.

Basically, a short horror story title -I broke up with my boyfriend- I don't wish to mention everything here but first of all, he is not an extremely bad guy after all but sorry that I still have to let go. Secondly, it's scary how people changed and stopped doing whatever that is needed. Thirdly, things are different and it got worse and feelings don't feel exactly the same. Fourth, found out that not everything can be compromise and Fifth, you don't lie to your partner.

I ponder for weeks if I should end this because I am so tired of crying almost every night and even have the ability to break down in the public now and then. I told myself is he really the one I can rely on and communicate to in the future? Even though, I told him that I will never leave him but I did at the end of the day. It may be a huge disappointment to him, but I know that if this r/s is going to be unhappy for long then it is not healthy for both of us. I knew that the moment I made such decision, I broke the promises I've made to him. But hey, if you're gonna be me, how would you feel when you cried almost every night, have the ability to break down in the public which is so shameful esp when no one is around with you and you're so tired with everything that you just wanna lock yourself up? How is that even called a sweet relationship anymore? I don't expect a smooth road for this relationship, I foresee ups & down along the way but it is way too much for me to handle this relationship and more over a lot of things we can't compromise and realizing we are way too different. What's the perfect words to describe? Different world or not suitable. As the saying goes, if it's meant to be it will be. I made such decisions is because I don't wish both of us to reach to a point whereby we got married in the future and lead to a point: Divorce. Remember that, this is worse than breaking up. You can't force love at all, you can't. To cut it even shorter, I was never genuinely happy in this relationship after 2nd month, that's when I know the feelings isn't the same anymore. 2nd month only leh, imagine it lor?

DON'T EVER

1. You don't shout at your girlfriend in the public, or worst shout at your own girl.
Sorry dude, "A real men don't shout at girls" Besides that, my dad don't even shout at me so what makes you think that you have EVERY rights to shout at me when we had conflicts? Half of the time tone of voices makes everything worst so this applies to the ladies too, not only for guys. You wanna solve things, chill the fuck down and speak nicely. It will be better. I am not saying I am a princess, you must not shout at me but if you're doing it every time we had conflicts then nah uh, that's not very nice to your girl.

2. You don't scold right infront of your partner "Fuck, you really fucking waste my time leh"
Hello? Who the fuck am I to you? Even if you really wish to say it, do it on text and not in the face especially when I AM ALREADY CRYING. In case you don't know, it is 10 times worst than you do it in the text dude. And please dude, I am once your girlfriend, so why didn't you respect me at that point of time? I am not demanding for a respect but a tiny basic ones will do. Really, the worst thing you should never do to your partner is to tell them in the face "Fuck, you really fucking waste my time leh" Ok, I waste your time right? Then break up lor? How does that sounds since it's more likely not going to waste your time anymore?


3. Can't seems to compromise.
I really don't expect much from him, especially on places we go. I understand that if couples wish to chill at home. BUT HELLO? Not all the time we meet? I DO LOVE TO CHILL AT HOME with someone I love but please.. think about it... the only plan we had was Movie > Eat > Home, Movie > Eat > Home (I understand the terms being contented but are you for real, it's only 2nd month?) I don't expect us to spend lots of money when we are outside, occasionally fly kite and many outdoor activities is fine and when I tried to plan for the future and ask if he could go cafe hopping with me? Since I love to do so ONCE in awhile, but sadly NON of the cafe hopping has ever done. The only sentence I remember from him was "Cafe food, not really like a complete meal" OK CAN DUDE, I am judging it "No more fine dining in the future since the food gonna be like...


and not going to keep us full. Why does it seems like, I can only go with his plan? How about mine? My feelings? You cannot compromise ah? And the fact that I told him "You don't have to pay for my meals or movie tickets or any thing,  I am really fine with it and I don't mind spending my money when I am around with you" AND ALSO Even if you've done every activities with your ex, that doesn't mean you should not do it again with me. STAPH



4. Lying to your partner is the worst thing you can ever do.
I understand that you don't wish to hurt my feelings, but if it's not surprises. NO. I don't wish to mention what it is. I have no rights to judge it but I choose not to bring it up but dude, if you're reading this then good for you. Remember the last few texts I have sent you.

*sigh, shakes head the fact that I still love you and trust everything you said*

5. You don't ignored the break up texts and said "gtfo biatch"
WOwoWOWOW biatch? That biatch you french kiss before? Dayum, how was the french kiss like? Was it romantic enough? Is it hot enough to spice the whole room? I hope it does. STAPH dude, which part of me ever calls you a bastard even when I ended this with you, did I even stop caring for you and bomb your phone with long texts? *MAJOR ROLL EYES, I didn't exercise my fingers for free*

6. You don't simply open the car door and ask your gf to go home after a conflicts
Well, that's sad..... but it's alright because public transport made for a reason. So sorry to dirty your car, I didn't mean it.


I shall not continue further as the list goes on and on, I do have my bad points especially my attitude and the mistakes I have done. I apologized it and lower down my pride and ego just for someone I love and I have never stop sending him long texts when it comes to our conflicts, I am constantly salvaging it but unfortunately things changed and not everything remains the same as before, I do get tired of crying and trying after awhile and I don't find the point moving on with someone that I don't see him walking with me down the aisle in the future. As the saying goes "If you don't find that someone going to be in your future then don't continue and drag it, as you get older, it is too late to realize" Humans are selfish when it comes to feelings, now I understand that.

Last of all, I take back my words on my instagram caption "With you, I feel like a princess~" more like "With you, I feel like crying" #sorrynotsorry #ihaveenoughofyourbullshitstoo #forrealIamdone #sotimeforyoutogtfo #blockedonwhatsapp #blockedonallsocialmedia and lastly

You're out of my life
 I am no longer interested in your life because you're ungentlemen just like that. You disrespect me at a whole new level when I am your girlfriend. So since you have your freedom of speech, I have mine too. Fairly 'war' Alright, am' closing the chapter. *YAWNS* 

Last of all just bring your shits elsewhere or you may continue it for long till you feel better or else just 
as I am done caring and doing my part to spam you with messages even the ones with "I am still here for you after we broke up" NOPE AIN'T HERE FOR YOU ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU DON'T CARE.

Now you know it, don't ask me about it and let's not talk about it, guys.
Honestly, I felt so much better after ranting. So pardon with it, I just have to........ speaks my feelings out. Honestly, if anyone can feel me out there it would be good..... you know how painful it is when it's only the second month of relationships and you suffered that much of disrespect from someone you love, don't even need to think about the future.

They say r/s problems should be kept between two, but sad to say bottling things up make myself feel 10 times miserable.
And wait, I AM NOT A PRINCESS nor I have a princess attitude. I just dislike man disrespect a lady, especially their on their own gf/mom.  Vice Versa too. If someone can't tolerate your worst then they sure as hell don't deserves your best.
I am still thankful for the times he showered me with so much loves from the start, but things changed.

4 comments:

  1. Hello my dear :)

    I chanced upon your blog again and read up a few posts.. you seem to be doing great, but maybe not so much in relationship. You're a very pretty girl so I'm sure you'll find a nice guy very soon. Your story makes me very appreciative of my current bf (gg 3 years) because he never yells at me at all (but i did before :( ) Makes me really guilty now but yeah it's not too late to change!

    Anyway, really hope you've gotten over it and take care! See you soon in other events :)


    Celine

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello dear!

      You're too kind! I hope you're doing great in overseas too! Yes, your boyfriend is definitely hard to find in this society. Hahaha don't be, I am sure those days already had your limit and I am sure your boyfriend had a high tolerance and understanding towards you and bring the best for this relationship. It's never too late to change! :)

      Trying to, and yes see you soon in other events!

      Delete
  2. Hey, way to go for steering away from this toxic relationship :-)
    Been through similar but only thing is I had it worst...I held on to my shitty rs for a year and a half until I finally broke off with him. Worst part is recently contacted me after 2 months and wants me back. Just 2 days after my rejection, he found a random thai girl as a rebound. So damn disgusted.

    All the best and you don't need these substandard men (read:boys) to ruin your teenage years.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey there!

      I am glad I got out of this shitty toxic relationship! It makes me a happier person right now, oh well... guess I can almost relate to you because he found someone new too! Don't worry, you'll find someone better! Thank you so much dear, oh yes he is still a BOY after all despite turning into 20 this year. Haha! Thanks for reading this super long..... wordy.... bad English entry hahaha!

      xoxo

      Delete